It’s not my job to educate you. It’s your job to stop being ignorant. I understand that it’s easier for you to divide everyone you…
As card-carrying Democrats, it’s important that we always take the moral high ground in response to our opposition’s reprehensible actions. We must not sink to…
What up ‘90s kids! Remember waking up early on Saturday morning to watch cartoons while plowing through an entire box of Cookie Crisp? Do you?…
Now look, I’m just here to remind you that I don’t make the rules, I’m just an irritating prick that really gets off on enforcing…
There’s been a lot of talk about police abolition this year and while there have been a lot of well-articulated cases for it, I’m still…
Increased metabolism, stronger vision, boosted immune system (um, HELLO COVID), reduced cancer risk, lowered cholesterol, and strengthened brain function—these are just six of the endless…
Time to take a fucking stand, people. You are either a dog person: loyal, social, and agreeable. Or you are a cat person: independent, reserved,…
Okay, first off, I don’t even know why we’re having this Emergency Meeting. Don’t get me wrong, Yellow’s death is a tragedy, and we’re all…
My president likes his soldiers “not captured.” Well, I like my presidents “not dead.” And I like Trump, so it’s a good thing COVID has…
Listen babe, no one in this scene is a bigger ally than me. When news breaks about a band member’s sexual misconduct with their female…
Let me get this straight. You wanna come to my country and tell me and my folk how to live our lives, what words we…
Cops suck. There’s no question about that. I’m not a dumbass boot licker. However, I don’t know if we should be calling for the police…
It would indeed be astute of you to point out that I am naked, sweaty, and on drugs. However, I can assure you that these…
What did you just say to me? Why don’t you come over here and say that shit, mother fucker?! Yeah, I didn’t think you, so…
A spectar is haunting our political discourse — the spectar of spelling elietism. When I comennced with my college education six years ago, I had…