APPLETON, Wisc. — Hot Topic co-workers, Brandy Graff and Dilan Hoffstedter, were “hella stoked” to welcome healthy twin boys conjoined by a single dreadlock, into…
Aging Nu-Metal Fan Blasts “Click Click Boom” by Saliva to Get Pumped Up for Big Prostate Exam
BIG FLATTS, N.Y. — 51-year-old nu-metal fan Ricky Clud recently expressed that Saliva’s early 2000s classic “Click Click Boom” was the secret to getting hyped…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — DJ Crockroach of famed metal act Assfault Muffinz admitted that he spends most of his time on-stage at the band’s gigs listening…
Every Limp Bizkit Album Ranked Worst To Best
Late 90s/early aughts hard rock bands that couldn’t get a good word written about ‘em via the elitist press at the time like Creed, Nickelback,…
LOS ANGELES – Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst admitted that the claims he “did it for the nookie” in the 1999 hit “Nookie” were a…
Congratulations, you finally scored a date. But things only get more difficult from here. Where do you go on the date? But more importantly, which…
Every Linkin Park Album Ranked Worst To Best
The 818 is much more than “Boogie Nights,” and much less than Canoga Park’s former venue to end all venues known as The Cobalt Cafe.…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A recently discovered painting of Leonardo da Vinci’s the lost lower half of “Mona Lisa” depicted the subject wearing JNCO jeans,…
Probation Officers Around Country Flooded With Travel Request Forms Following Sick New World 2024 Announcement
LAS VEGAS — Probation officers around the country reported an overwhelming amount of travel request forms from felons under their supervision who want to travel…
Every Slipknot Album Ranked Worst To Best
Des Moines, Iowa’s Slipknot has been rocking venues tattered and torn since 1995, and you gruff punk mockers need to stop acting like you are…
Aging Nu Metal Fan Forced to Comb Over Thinning Soul Patch
INDIANAPOLIS — 38-year-old nu metal fan Bryce Spiller went to extreme lengths to maintain his soul patch after deciding to comb over his thinning facial…
You ever have one of those bosses that is just an all-around butthead? You know the type. The type of boss that’ll tell you to…
Every Korn Album Ranked
It’s hard to say a bad word about Korn when, without them, nu metal as we know it may never have existed. However, 30 years…
Opinion: Pop Songs Existed in the ’80s So Nu-Metal Bands Could Perfect Them in the Late ’90s
Many regard the 1980s as the golden age of pop music. Many popular songs of the decade laid the foundation for the mindless, cash-grabbing, soulless…
Every Deftones Album Ranked
We really wanted to challenge ourselves, so we’re going to rank every Deftones album from worst to best. Though this is no easy feat considering…