HADDONFIELD, Ill. — The National Rifle Association rushed to Michael Myers’ defense today after the famed “Halloween” slasher started killing his victims with an AR-15…
BROUSSARD, La. — Gun store owners across the country reported the need to cut costs as summer break ushers in the start of a decline…
First of all, stop being such a pussy, dude. It’s just a handgun. And a glock at that! No one ever is killed by just…
BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing spree that will stretch from…
MURRAY, Utah — Card-carrying member of both the NRA and Costco’s premium membership Greg Young was forced to leave the bulk-grocery chain this past Wednesday,…
MACON, Ga. — Local Civil War reenactor, blogger, and aspiring mass shooter Randolph Cunningham was forced to go door to door yesterday to find victims…
WASHINGTON — The National Rifle Association demanded today fewer restrictions surrounding the purchase and use of U.S. senators, in response to growing calls across the…
DAYTON, Ohio — The United States of America was embarrassed to admit it accidentally double-booked two mass shootings within 24 hours of each other, sources…
FAIRFAX, Va. — The NRA condemned New Zealand today as “hypocrites” for failing to crack down on legendary bladed weapons and enchanted objects of immeasurable…
Let’s get one thing straight- my rifle collection could defend a small country. I could wipe out my entire town’s police force if they even…
The moment is over. Poof! Done. Gone. Bang! Actually, scratch that last one. Either way, you just missed your chance to talk about gun control.…
Charlton Heston was a lot of things to me- a tremendously talented actor and orator, a tireless defender of second amendment rights, and a personal…
Night after night, Michael listens to you sheeple on his bunker’s short-wave radio breathlessly claiming there’s no reason a mentally stable person would ever need…
The school shooting in Parkland, Florida — one of the deadliest in modern American history — had many across the country coming together to send…