NEW YORK — Indimus rockimus bards Titus Andronicus doth declarimus the approaching releasimus of an albumimus christened An Obelisk, according to a decree bestowed by…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Hartfield Insurance sales representative Ernie Boisvert told his coworkers today that he is “…a bit of a musician himself,” apathetic sources…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — University of Michigan student Philip Bryant found a near-perfect guitar tab yesterday for Sublime’s “Santeria,” save for the tempo, tuning, and…
LOS ANGELES — Punk rock pioneer Henry Rollins shook up the music scene once again last week by releasing what he has dubbed a “sung…
Shut up, shut up, shut up! I love this part! Yeah, that bit right there. Dew, deeeeeew, dew da da da dooooo. Oh and then…
LOS ANGELES — Sports-themed dance music mix Jock Jams apologized to the seminal punk rock series Punk-O-Rama yesterday for relentless bullying throughout the mid-’90s while…
NEW YORK — Local pop punk band Orange 17 has expressed interest in the fate of the infamous mail bomber’s van following his arrest, sources…
PHILADELPHIA — 9-year-old guitarist Tommy Moran is already rising as a “punk musician to watch,” thanks to his seemingly preternatural ability to completely suck at…
So, you’re driving your crew to the movies and you put on that new song. The one you’ve been listening to all week. The one…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Liza Epperson realized yesterday that her new girlfriend, who allegedly described herself as “emo” in her Tinder bio, more closely resembles…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Sales of the once-trendy keytar are down for the 425th consecutive month, as markets continue to show complete disinterest in the retro…
HARTFORD, Conn. — The world-renowned Smithson Symphony Orchestra asked their audience at the Hartford Opera House last night if anyone could offer them a place…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local student Adam Irving was stunned to learn that Brick Teeth frontman Kevin Gillion had awarded the audience a coveted “Best Crowd…
CHESTERBROOK, Penn. — The latest album from pop-punk band Cap’n Crush is an “astonishing musical and lyrical progression” and sets up a bold new chapter…
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Music journalist and human serviette Nardwuar surprised unknown Canadian musician Randall Hartford with a rare, unreleased recording of his funeral, stunned…