SHIPPENSBURG, Pa. – Black clouds obscured an ice white moon amidst terrible rumblings echoing from the depths of the underworld today as Mitch Hubbins, a.k.a.…
Merch Guy Realizes He’s Been Selling the Wrong Squiggly-Lettered T-Shirt
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – A simple mistake spelled potential disaster for Dean Selay, merch guy for the Louisville post-black metal outfit Crypt Engraver, as he realized…
Christian Metal Band Doesn’t Believe In Evolving Their Sound
LANSING, Mich. – Local Christian band Bless The Martyr has stalled their momentum in the metal world by refusing to evolve their sound in any…
Game of Thrones Tribute Metal Band Getting Ahead of the Books
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. – The continued delay of The Winds of Winter, the sixth book in the George R.R. Martin series that inspired Game of Thrones,…
Godsmack to Play Coachella with Holographic Audience
INDIO, Calif. – This year’s annual Coachella music festival will continue to push the envelope of innovative hologram technology by reuniting Godsmack with their long-departed…
Band Writes 10-Minute Song In Under 2 Minutes
NEW ORLEANS – Some artists take a lifetime to complete their masterpiece; others can create a magnum opus in virtually no time at all. Sludge…
Lack of Talent Mistaken for Artistic Vision
TORONTO – Sludge metal act Old Cluster have made major strides recently in Toronto’s underground scene, selling out their last three shows with critics fawning…
Drunk Guy Cheers For No Reason
PORTLAND, OR – Fans attending the record release party for local metal band Failsafe were repeatedly caught off guard by the random cheering of a…
Black Metal Guitarist Spotted Celebrating Gammy’s 87th Birthday at Old Country Buffet
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. – Two lucky fans were surprised Tuesday evening when they spotted Geryon Warbringer, guitar player of black metal band Malmastecon, celebrating his…
Deathcore Vocalist Has Brutal Mental Breakdown
ATLANTA, GA – Witnesses report local deathcore band We, The Bleeding Teeth could only watch in awe as their front man, Lenny Johnson, had what…
Phil Anselmo Apologizes for Waiting Until End of Show Before Paying Tribute to Hitler
HOLLYWOOD – After Sieg Heiling and screaming “White power!” at the conclusion of this year’s Dimebash, Pantera frontman Phil Anselmo has issued an apology to his…
Local Goth Found Dead Inside
DEKALB, Ill. — After a long battle with conformist society, local goth Marvin Crandall, 34, was found dead inside at his place of employment late…
Metallica Sues 8th Grader Over Hand-Drawn Logo on Notebook
CHIPPEWA FALLS, Wis. – A team of high-powered attorneys representing the interests of seminal metal act Metallica filed the necessary paperwork late last week to…
We’ve lost a lot of great people in 2015 — people who made us laugh, challenged the way we think, or, like Lemmy, influenced generations…
Tokyo – Geisha Revenge, an all-girl Japanese thrash metal band, has seen a surge in popularity following the release of their debut LP Tokyo Takeback, thanks in…