FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A friend whom you haven’t spoken to, texted, or shared an Instagram exchange with in the past 15 months put you…
HONOLULU — Local punk Joseph Green is looking forward to finally hanging out with friends in the alley during shows again now that the city…
Lead Singer Pretty Sure There Are Still Some COVID Restrictions Stopping Him From Helping With Load In
LOS ANGELES — Vocalist Trevor Handler of Reseda pop punk band Half-Hazzard insisted that his reluctance to help the band move gear in and out…
White Men Talking Over Women at Show Mistaken For Punk Band
REINLANDER, Wisc. — A group of white men were mistaken for the headlining band of a local show early yesterday evening after immediately zeroing in…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A limited-capacity show yesterday evening drew a crowd twice as large as local band Jolly Bean Chili Greens has ever seen in…
Dang, I Was Totally Gonna Go to Your Show This Time Too
Did they cancel your band’s show this weekend because of the quarantine? Ah, stinker! And this was the one I was definitely, for sure planning…
Given That I’ve Exhausted My Library of Believable Excuses, I Feel I Should Tell You I Don’t Like Your Band
Hey! Just wanted to pop in and express my apologies for not being able to come to your show the other day. I hope it…
Get the hell out of my way! I just got here an hour late and I’m shitfaced but it’s my God-given right to be directly…

Opinion: LOOK AT THAT LOSER WEARING EARPLUGS. I GO TO WAY MORE SHOWS AND MY HEARING IS FINE! …WHAT!?
OH MAN, LOOK AT THAT FUCKING GUY. HOW CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING WITH THOSE THINGS IN? PEOPLE LIKE HIM ARE EXACTLY WHAT’S WRONG WITH PUNK…
Opinion: It Doesn’t Make Much Sense for Us to Play First
Hey guys! Good to meet all of you before the show. Let me just start by saying I think your bands are the best in…
Opinion: Just Because I’m Not Going to Your Show Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Want an Invite
I woke up today and saw pictures from last night of your shitty band playing at a shitty venue in front of a small, shitty…
Opinion: I Should Have Left My Coat in the Car
I don’t always think things through. When I made the decision to attend this show at a tiny, overcrowded venue with no ventilation I thought…
Opinion: We Already Said Hi so We Can Sneak out While They’re Playing
Listen, I’m always down to support my friends’ bands. I wanna be there for them and go to their shows but let’s be real, most…
Show Review: You Guys Seem to Be Having Fun Up There
Hey guys, thanks for inviting me to your show! What did I think of your set? Boy oh boy, that really was a… set. One…
The Hard Times Guide to Killing the Guy Who Kinda Bumped Into Your Girlfriend at a Show
Well it happened again. You’re irrationally angry and contemplating murder. Everyone feels the urge to kill at least once or twice a weekend, right? Unless…













