PERRYSBURG, Ohio — A recent posting of singer/songwriter Dan Sheen’s Bandcamp link has silenced his local friend group chat despite being requested, sources close to…
BEAVERCREEK, Ohio — Local father Stu Campbell is reportedly fed up with having to clean hundreds of rupees out of his lawnmower every time he…
OSLO, Norway — YouTuber Konleith Narvesen is reportedly at a complete loss following the announcement that the newest Zelda game, Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity,…
The highly anticipated podcast from iconic gaming duo Link and Navi has finally debuted, and sadly, they have produced an extremely one-sided and unbalanced show.…
CLOCK TOWN — A Termina citizen took to the streets yesterday to denounce the large, ominous moon inching ever closer to the city as “a…
HYRULE — Feeling completely shaken after pulling the Master Sword from its pedestal, unlocking the path to the Sacred Realm and traveling seven years into the…
CLOCK TOWN — Selling out his entire inventory after five minutes of announcing a restock, the Happy Mask Salesman announced to disappointed customers that his N95…
HYRULE — A local looter named Link was seen breaking into random buildings, destroying valuable clay pots and stealing the money within, according to concerned…
SAN FRANCISCO — Email marketing specialist Seth Samael, widely considered one of the most diabolical internet admins, was seen twirling his mustache and cackling yesterday…
SEATTLE — Sephora patrons rushed into local stores early Friday for the launch of Majora’s Mask, Nintendo’s limited-time exfoliation product, only to complain days later…
ATLANTA — Video game company Nintendo has sent a cease and desist to local fan Denis Fernandez for his Legend of Zelda triforce tattoo, prompting…
CHICAGO — Holiday icon and present delivery mogul Santa Claus admitted this morning that he snuck Bandcamp links to his latest lo-fi EP, “Jingle Beats…
Ganondorf Dragmire served Hyrule for seven years as it’s king and as we mourn his recent passing, it is important for us to reflect upon…
LOS ANGELES — Music teacher and ocarina virtuoso Marissa Harte let out a troubling and defeated sigh upon being asked yet again to teach a…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Clad in Link’s signature green tunic, a hand stitched hat, and prosthetic elf ears, eight-year-old Thomas McConnell has suffered what’s being described…