SAN FRANCISCO — Members of local punk band Loogie Howser are eager to return to their bustling itinerary of playing nearly three shows a year,…
CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor edits to instead eulogize his…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local gym rat Paul Deetz started his workout today with a full seven minutes of rest while the first track in…
WASHINGTON — President Trump expressed disappointment early Friday morning at being all caught up on his favorite TV shows following doctor’s orders to quarantine for…
NEW YORK — Quarantined man Michael Gray repeated his rigid daily routine moments ago when he turned off his alarm, got out of bed, and…
CINCINNATI — Local singer Troy Nickelson of shoegaze band Neon Leggings sat back and watched yesterday as his bandmates moved all of his belongings to…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Irritated neighbors of yours confirm you fully lost your shit early this morning when you discovered the indie-rock band Los Combustibles while…
DURHAM, N.C. — Local father Bob Taggart spent all of last night’s show at the Steel Cup Lounge speaking with promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham, delving…
LOS ANGELES — Perpetually unemployed boyfriend Liam Womack announced yesterday that he will cease failing to author novels to pursue procrastinating on writing screenplays, apprehensive…
Honestly, I’m not really a lovey-dovey kind of guy, but Cat Stevens looks so gosh darn adorable curled up on my lap that I just…
AKRON, Ohio — A pair of bathing suit bottoms were called in to pick up an off-season shift this week after a local woman’s underwear…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Your coworker Michael Banks, a 33-year-old office assistant and widely known flake, announced plans today to get everything sorted out by tomorrow…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local DIY punk veterans the Splatz, who have been doing-it-themselves for nearly two years, now wish somebody else would step in to…