GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Irritated neighbors of yours confirm you fully lost your shit early this morning when you discovered the indie-rock band Los Combustibles while…
DURHAM, N.C. — Local father Bob Taggart spent all of last night’s show at the Steel Cup Lounge speaking with promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham, delving…
LOS ANGELES — Perpetually unemployed boyfriend Liam Womack announced yesterday that he will cease failing to author novels to pursue procrastinating on writing screenplays, apprehensive…
Honestly, I’m not really a lovey-dovey kind of guy, but Cat Stevens looks so gosh darn adorable curled up on my lap that I just…
AKRON, Ohio — A pair of bathing suit bottoms were called in to pick up an off-season shift this week after a local woman’s underwear…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Your coworker Michael Banks, a 33-year-old office assistant and widely known flake, announced plans today to get everything sorted out by tomorrow…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local DIY punk veterans the Splatz, who have been doing-it-themselves for nearly two years, now wish somebody else would step in to…
We have a problem in this country, an unfair immigration system that forces immigrants to risk their lives sneaking across the border, work jobs that…
So this is this water park you all wouldn’t shut up about, huh? This is not as amazing as you kids made it out to…
ROGERS, Ariz. — Local drummer and admitted “problem drinker” Jason Huff reportedly “had it” with a particular box of pizza bagels after being instructed to…
AKRON, Ohio — After succumbing to a particularly lengthy “weak moment” last month, South Akron resident Karen Lee is reportedly working hard to undo the…
WASHINGTON — Stoners from across the country held a joint press conference last night to announce “no real plans” for the future, according to the…
PHOENIX – Critics called into question the work ethic and energy conservation skills of hardcore band Alien 5 earlier this week following charges of flagrant…
SEATTLE – Fans of local metal band Christ Decay were unmoved Friday night by new guitarist John Hang’s uninspired, meandering solo during crowd favorite “Pissing…
BROOKLYN – After receiving what they thought was a “hook up” from an artistically inclined friend, straight edge locals Lethal Injexion have been left scrambling to…
