Look, I’ve loved Bad Religion since the ‘90s. For my money, they’re one of the best punk bands ever, and the fact that they’re still going in 2024 is a testament to their longevity. But Greg Graffin was throwing around a lot of insults and assumptions in 1990 when the band released “Against the Grain,” and now that I’ve grown into a so-called “lazy, middle-class intellectual” with a 21st Century Digital Boy of my own, I’d like to address his criticism of my parenting.
First, he calls me lazy, which I feel is subjective. I’m not lazy, Greg, I’m just tired all the time because my kids sleep like shit and don’t give me a single moment to myself. I don’t even have time to splash water on my face while looking in the mirror while I mumble “What has my life become” because these kids are on my ass all the damn time. So calling another dad lazy? You should know better. You sound like my wife, who is *not* on Valium, by the way.
Then Greg has the gall to assume that our family is middle-class. That part is accurate, but only because both my wife and I work. Which is another reason we’re always tired. If we didn’t have dual incomes we would be fucking toast. Again… NOT lazy.
Sure, I consider myself to be at least somewhat smart, and calling someone an intellectual normally is a compliment. But coming from Graffin, who has a Masters, a PhD, and is a college professor, it sounds like an insult. Sarcastic name-calling? Is that really all you have to offer?
All that says nothing of my parenting, though. He goes on to claim that my son doesn’t know how to live, or even read. First of all, he’s 5. He’s learning how to read right now in kindergarten. Give him a break.
Secondly, show me an adult walking around that “knows how to live.” How are we defining “live” anyway? How are we defining “know” while we’re at it? Life’s a mystery, you said it yourself. We’re all faking it until we make it out here. Not all of us can be in a punk band for 43 years.
How about some constructive criticism or suggestions on lowering screen time, Greg? You attract more flies with honey, as it were. When you throw out accusations of laziness and pill-popping, it goes “ya ya ya ya ya ya ya” in one ear and out the other.
There are wayyy too many toys in my house, though.