LOS ANGELES — Local ICE agent Mitch Holsen admitted he wept a few tears of joy after receiving an emotional letter from a kindergartner detailing…
BOISE, Idaho — Local piece of shit Jesse Schweitzer was charged with impersonating a police officer after assaulting his entrapped girlfriend Denise Soderstrom, confirmed sources.…
BURGETTSTOWN, Pa. — The mosh pit at a concert by popular metal band Pantera doubled as a team-building activity for local police officers, disgusted sources…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local rap-rock band Antagonyze released their latest single “Cop Kisser” which they say should act as a blueprint on how to appreciate…
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced a new program to help boost ICE enlistment numbers by promising to forgive any debt incurred by delinquent child support…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A local ICE agent’s wife Karen Wilkins is really hoping her own family gets torn apart, after years of watching her husband…
NORTH ATTLEBORO, Mass. — Several youths were ordered to stop playing with miniature skateboards by very small police officers outside the Emerald Square Mall, according…
TAMPA, Fla. — Attendees at a local death metal show Saturday night were leery of a suspicious man wearing a Six Feet Under t-shirt, who…
GLADEWATER, Texas — Veteran law enforcement officer Denny Polumbock jocularly mentioned that the Gladewater PD “likes to have fun” just as they arrived at the…
OGDEN, Utah — Open-minded cop Dennis Alvarez took several minutes to carefully weigh both sides of a fictional narrative he crafted inside his own head…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local police officer James Kehoe was stripped of his Sergeant rank after his two semesters of D.A.R.E. classes didn’t result in him…
LOS ANGELES — A relatively obscure film from the Indianapolis Police Department titled “Officer William Jameson’s Body Camera Footage 3/19/21” was awarded the Emmy for…
Cops fucking suck. There isn’t anything new with that statement. But at least the douchebaggery that pigs dish out is on a linear plane of…
Now look, I’m just here to remind you that I don’t make the rules, I’m just an irritating prick that really gets off on enforcing…
BRAUNAU AM INN, AUSTRIA — Fort Wayne, Ind. police officer Audrey Winnet traveled back in time last week to a small town on the Austria/Germany…