Late Tag Archives - Page 2

Punk Time Travelers Arrive Four Hours Late to Kill Hitler

James Knapp • April 13, 2021

BERLIN — A group of punks and aspiring assassins traveled eighty years back in time only to fail in their…

Guy You Ordered Record From Four Years Ago Blaming USPS Slowdown for Late Shipment

The Hard Times Staff • September 26, 2020

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local distro owner Andy Klein assured you today that the Pelican “Australasia” record on limited edition orange…

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Axl Rose Arrives 6 Hours Late to Home Livestream Concert

Louie Aronowitz • April 16, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Axl Rose arrived six hours late today to a charity livestream event featuring a plethora of other…

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Punk Church Features Stained Glass Window of Martyr Who Stayed Past Friends’ Set

Chuck Kowalski • March 8, 2020

TOLEDO, Ohio — A local punk church celebrated the addition of a new stained glass window today, commemorating the ultimate…

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Chronically Late Explosions in the Sky Singer Finally Arrives On Time to Play Set

Patrick Coyne • August 8, 2019

AUSTIN, Texas — Dean Hedlund, the chronically late lead singer of post-rock band Explosions in the Sky, arrived just in…

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Historians Discover First House Show Still Hasn’t Started

James Webster • May 26, 2019

RICHMOND, Va. — Researchers and social archaeologists at Virginia Commonwealth University discovered last week that the first-ever house show scheduled…

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Punk Jesus Running About 90 Minutes Late to Rise

Krissy Howard • April 21, 2019

JERUSALEM — Local punk and Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ is reportedly running “an hour late, 90 minutes tops, bro”…

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Punk Band’s New Year’s Eve Set Pushed Back to 12:30

The Hard Times Staff • December 31, 2017

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local punk band The Gutter Owls were forced to push their New Year’s Eve headlining set…

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Tower Records Employee Arrives Three Hours and 11 Years Late for Shift

Dan Kozuh • October 4, 2017

BLOOMINGDALE, Ill. — Local retail employee Will Esposito was surprised last week to find Tower Records, his former place of…

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Anxious Woman Hopes Period Is Just Running On Punk Time

Krissy Howard • April 30, 2017

OMAHA, Neb. — Local copy editor and Beagles guitarist Maddy Nelson is reportedly growing increasingly anxious by the delayed arrival…

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