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Punk Band’s New Years Eve Set Pushed Back to 12:30

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local punk band The Gutter Owls were forced to push their New Year’s Eve headlining set from 11:59 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. due to mechanical and technical issues, several annoyed witnesses confirmed.

“We had it all planned out — we were gonna do the countdown to midnight, and then just blast right into our set and have everyone lose their fucking minds,” said drummer Clive Mixon. “But some dumbass spilled beer on the PA and fried the thing, so we had to wait for our merch guy to run to his place and grab a new one.”

Witnesses report fans grew increasingly restless as midnight approached.

“OK, this is exactly why I tell bands that when they play on New Year’s, they should start at 11:30 — that way, you have some wiggle room,” said scene legend Darryl Connover. “Now we’re gonna have to act like a bunch of goddamn posers ringing in 2020 after it’s already 2020, and… I don’t know. That just doesn’t sit right with me.”

Some fans were reportedly shut down for attempting the countdown before the band was ready to play.

“When it was obvious they were gonna start late, a couple of us started singing that New Years song. What the fuck is that song called?” said Cheryl Crain. “Anyway, Froggy [Steve Fordham] ran over all serious, and told us to ‘cut the shit and wait for the band to count us down’ like, immediately. What a dick.”

She later added, “I could’ve gone to this awesome party in the city with a view of the fireworks, but I guess I can watch it on Instagram while I’m waiting at this freezing-ass basement show in Westchester instead.”

Following their set, The Gutter Owl’s announced their “Valentine’s Day Massacre” show, originally scheduled for February 14th, would unfortunately be delayed until March 22nd.