HARTFORD, Conn. — Local punk and 31-year-old adult man Kenny Whalen remains blissfully unaware that he is the Whalen family’s cautionary tale, concerned sources confirmed.…
DENVER — Unemployed linguistics major Steve Carter spent hours looking through job boards yesterday before ultimately declining to apply for any positions upon noticing the…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Federal Government announced today that, due to a plummeting economy related to the COVID-19 pandemic, it will layoff three states in…
The Boomer generation doesn’t seem to understand how the world works anymore. They still think you should apply for a job, get hired, and perform…
ALLSTON, Mass. — A record-breaking number of millennials are joining multiple bands at a time to try to cover their daily expenses with little to…
WASHINGTON — Nearly 500 door guys turned out for a demonstration Saturday afternoon protesting various venues planning to automate their door-guy jobs within the next…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign speech held in vacant hotel…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local stoner metal band Soundmurder are making “painful” sacrifices to accommodate a tedious, sober search for a new day job following their…
SARASOTA, Fla. – An unprecedented run of managing to hide the existence of his punk band from co-workers for two years has finally come to an…
DETROIT — Mike Avery, the legendary frontman of 90s hardcore band Turnaround has recently been spotted working at a terribly shitty job. Avery, widely considered…
THE SCENE, Hard. — Too many people think of hardcore retirement as a problem for people in their 30s and 40s. The truth is, the…