Anna Walsh
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SEATTLE — Local toddler Piper Huga brought pre-k class to a halt this week after counting to 2 then 4…
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Steve Packosky
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STANFORD, Calif. — A psychological study at Stanford University found that 85% of participants would willingly drink kerosene if the…
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Patrick Crooks
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SEDONA, Ariz. — Attendees of an orgy reported that the evening’s highly charged sexual atmosphere was being ruined by a…
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Charles Bill
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WASHINGTON — Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller admitted that he’s just building Aryan Nation credibility for his inevitable imprisonment,…
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Trevor Graham
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CHICAGO — A veteran who fought in World War II still continues to have “Hitler Derangement Syndrome” to this day,…
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Steve Packosky
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NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Garage punk band Diarrhea Planet issued an apology for releasing good music after having chosen such an…
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Ryan Darrah
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PALO ALTO, Calif. — Tech startup Optium will soon launch an app that aims to disrupt humanity’s concept of a…
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S.L. Neechski
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WORTHINGTON, Mass. — Country musician and patriot cosplayer Aaron Lewis admitted this week that he crowdsourced his new album, “I’m…
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Ryan Darrah
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WASHINGTON — Centrist historian Milt DeWalt claimed that opponents of the Nazis should have been willing to reach across the…
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Tyler Roland
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LONG BEACH, Calif. — The mirror in the men’s bathroom of local venue Harlux is absolutely fucking useless, sources with…
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