Patrick Coyne
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JERSEY CITY, N.J. — Local infamous “Kilt Guy” Jeremy Flanagan played a dangerous, nard-threatening game last night by crowd surfing…
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James Knapp
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TOWSON, Md. — Noted anarchist and father Conor “Red” Hampton spent a wholesome afternoon yesterday teaching his 12-year-old son Dennis…
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Shawn Murray
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MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Your younger cousin Blake Liston-Schneider confirmed moments ago that he has some “dank nugs” if you’re…
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Dan Rice
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When you hear the word hero, you probably think of Batman or Superman or maybe The Martian Manhunter. It’s a…
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Jordan Breeding
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HARRISONBURG, Va. — Local punk and obvious alcoholic Marcia Fries announced moments ago that despite consuming nearly a dozen cans…
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Tim Nash
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LOS ANGELES — Matt Skiba, guitarist and vocalist for celebrated pop-punk bands Alkaline Trio and Blink-182, emailed his resume this…
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Patrick Crooks
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CUMBERLAND, Md — Local mom Beth Clarke proudly placed a print-out of her son’s band’s 7.1 Pitchfork review on her…
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Patrick Coyne
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An alarming and depressing new study found that Baby Boomers are still, for the most part, very much alive and…
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Dan Kozuh
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CHICAGO — Friends and family of local “all-around artist” Will Bell braced themselves today after Bell posted a cryptic message…
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Taylor Roebuck
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PHOENIX — Local 30-year-old Arun Sharma tested today whether or not he can use expletives in front of his parents,…
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