LOS ANGELES — After nearly five decades and 15 studio albums, Aerosmith will be inducted into the Mediocre, Unremarkable, Middle-of-the-Road Bullshit Hall of Fame in…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local father Bill Matheson has offered his children, family, friends, and modest acquaintances the opportunity to rip any of his 1,300…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Substitute teacher and former Machine Oil frontman Jason Slomsky dedicated the entirety of his class yesterday to the history and importance…
BOSTON — “Big” Dylan Hayward, frontman of hardcore band Best Friends Bitter Ends, restarted his own heart on stage last night with a series of…
KENOSHA, Wisc. — 15-year-old Mark Hall reportedly believes he has picked the perfect place to stand during an all-ages hardcore show today at VFW Post…
ITHACA, N.Y. — High school student Peter Church etched a swastika into his 9th period math class desk in a bizarre attempt at “reclaiming” the…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Music fans at the Kentucky State Fair were surprised and depressed last week to learn that what they thought was a Whitesnake…
MINEOLA, Texas — The hope of trying West Coast-based fast food restaurant In-N-Out Burger is reportedly the only thing keeping noise-pop band GIFTHORSE from ending…
SHAMROCK, Texas — The owner of the local punk bar/venue Calico’s will donate two drink tickets to each person affected or displaced by the wildfires…
BOSTON — Stanley Remington, the older brother of local punk James “Meatball” Remington, is “doing fantastic,” according to a report issued by the mother of…
MORRISTOWN, N.J. — Mid-level alternative rock band the Mandarks are planning to break up this summer after 14 years of recording and touring once their…
SEATTLE — The War on Christmas took a disturbing turn this week when radicalized Starbucks employees released a shocking video showing the beheading of one…
NEWTON, Mass. — Recently discovered Anal Cunt demo tapes will be released later this year, detailing new subjects former frontman Seth Putnam once considered “gay,”…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Acclaimed short film director Cullen Arrats has enlisted Powerviolence group ThrustPuncher to score his upcoming short film The Divine Constipation Of Being,…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local musician and Craigslist browser Rachael Linwood found a posting on Wednesday seeking members for what appears to be the worst fucking…