PHILADELPHIA — A long-winded and confusing rant last night about gender identity by legendary hardcore frontman Bobbie Bryant was likely meant to be positive, despite…
BOSTON — Punk ventriloquist Larry Tasker told an unimpressed crowd last night that he didn’t care for their negative assessment of his act performing between…
LOS ANGELES — The dilapidated building that provided the backdrop for every promo photo from every hardcore band ever will be demolished and replaced with…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump was seen anxiously wringing his hands in the Oval Office for several hours after accepting an invitation for an “IRL”…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Residents of a basement apartment on Gardner Street are counting on a single, $5 tub of spackle to repair multiple doors, walls,…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local woman Poppy Kellison’s symptoms of seasonal depression were dismissed as “nothing” yesterday when compared to the emotional havoc wreaked upon her…
BALTIMORE — Married couple Kenny Wallace and Audrey Tyler are praying to “Christ or whatever the fuck” that the band they’re seeing will not return…
RENO, Nev. — Touring hardcore outfit Hammer Envy received a single, damp towel last night to share amongst the four of them while staying at…
ATLANTA — Delta Airlines flight attendant Moses Ray dedicated yesterday’s routine flight to Chicago to “the real mother fuckers in coach” during an impassioned pre-flight…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — 33-year-old pop-punk frontman Danny Huerta has reportedly been cast out of the scene he helped build after he was outed late…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Butthole Canyon frontman Richie Butthole increasingly regrets his chosen stage name, now that he is approaching his mid-30s, sources close to the…
LANSING, Mich. — Local OSHA inspector Gary Branville found an upsettingly high number of blatant safety violations in the latest edition of the popular “Construction…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local metalhead Terry Parker found yesterday that he is almost out of body parts into which to carve the word “Slayer” as…
WASHINGTON — Members of Congress kindly took time last week to hold a Town Hall-style meeting and explain the complexity of the gun control debate…
ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. -— Touring Minneapolis band FLATPOINT spent much of their set last night informing their Long Island audience that the 30°F weather was,…