DERBY, Vt. — The John Adams High School student council have launched a successful post-prom event, considered less aggressive and generally more experimental than the…
MONTREAL — Manufacturers of online AI-driven mastering software LANDR announced a new feature today that politely declines a band’s inevitable invitation to the release party…
NEW YORK — Spotify project manager Diego Valenzuela received an unprecedented raise of $0.00437 today for single-handedly rebuilding the streaming platform’s advertisement system from the…
RICHMOND, Va. — Researchers and social archaeologists at Virginia Commonwealth University discovered last week that the first-ever house show scheduled still has yet to begin,…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pervert David Bell could not climax this morning during his daily commute after noticing another bus rider openly nursing her infant, multiple…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local Guitar Center sales associate Dan Shin deemed a customer’s routine purchase “pretty sick” earlier this week, sources close to the enthusiastic…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local mechanic and outspoken male feminist Elias Murphy finally received his copy of Forbes magazine’s “Most Powerful Women” last week, proudly displaying…
BOSTON — Local woman Anne Deloach is certain the first track from her ex-boyfriend’s latest EP is about her, despite his forgetting her almost immediately…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Legendary singer/songwriter Bob Dylan incorrectly introduced several of his own songs at a concert yesterday as “covers,” despite having written them himself…
Dear Scabby: I hit a child driving home from work. This was 3 years ago. I haven’t told anyone. What should I do?! -CLUMSY Dear…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local punk Arnie Parker vowed to take the crown for the worst tattoos back from modern hip-hop music with a marathon home…
BOISE, Idaho — Local man John Larsen abruptly left his post at Pet Supplies Plus yesterday to race home and check out an album a…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Irritated neighbors of yours confirm you fully lost your shit early this morning when you discovered the indie-rock band Los Combustibles while…
NEW YORK — Dating website OkCupid announced on Wednesday that they added a new filter, enabling users to search for potential partners with a Black…
NEW YORK CITY — Rolling Stone magazine announced today it would be scaling back the latest version of its popular special feature, merely ranking the…