GEORGETOWN, Del. — Local man Ben Hartsock resumed his normal business of yelling at skateboarders for trespassing in a parking lot less than 24 hours…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dave Landers received the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday and is now looking forward to never, ever washing his hands again, according…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local punk Toni “Skwerm” Malloy was disappointed to find out yesterday that she only budgeted enough for 75% of the bars in…
WASHINGTON — DC-based tour guide Christopher Hollis is currently attempting to quell an insurrection at the Capitol Building in order to provide interesting details about…
WASHINGTON — The Food and Drug Administration today formally ordered the Hot Pockets brand of microwavable frozen sandwiches to remove the word “enjoy” from their…
ATHENS, Ga. — Bashful metal enthusiast Ross Bromberg attempted to muster up the strength yesterday to speak with a woman he believed to be both…
LOS ANGELES — ‘90s hip hop phenomenon Antoine Roundtree, known professionally as Skee-Lo, knew with confidence exactly which three wishes to solicit during a chance…
AUSTIN, Texas — For the first time in history, American Chess Magazine will release a list of their Top 1 TV Shows of 2020, leaving…
I was having a typical Saturday evening home. Turned down the lights, locked the doors, put on the newest Sean Cody video, was ready to…
CHICAGO — Local sound engineer Carrie Hotstone extracted the vocal track from a Smashing Pumpkins song today in order to properly enjoy the band’s music,…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local man Hunter Brayden shared his Instagram Top Nine this week, which consisted entirely of black squares in a transparent attempt to…
CUMBERLAND, Md. — Residents of local punk house the Couch Arsenal rotated the only ashtray on the premises yesterday to allow guests easier access, wheezy…
LOS ANGELES — A forthcoming David Bowie tribute album is daring to ask the question: what if these universally revered songs by the iconic British…
VESTAL, N.Y. — An impromptu stop at arts and crafts supply store Michael’s last Sunday silently confirmed the relationship status of Liz Satrano and Sam…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Married best friends Lisa Johnson and Matt Kennedy have made a pact to get divorced if they are still unhappy by the…