BOSTON — The Solar Eclipse, expected to be visible later today, admitted he got super hard just thinking about how many people would be staring…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new sex doll developed by Cambridge Robotics Lab is the first of its kind to be so lifelike that it will…
ORLEANS, Mass. — Local tattoo enthusiast Danny Lipinski’s latest tattoo depicting the cast of “Friends” engaged in a pansexual orgy is being described as “an…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Best Buy’s nationwide Black Friday sale reportedly includes huge discounts on labor with their employees being paid half-off of what they should…
PORTLAND — Local punk and hopeful train hopper Marc Harcourt is still currently standing on a set of railroad tracks as he had no real…
PHILADELPHIA — A local hardcore crew embarrassed themselves publicly after posting an incredibly weak crew pic, their first since COVID restrictions were lifted, multiple sources…
LOS ANGELES — A years-long study by scientists at UCLA has proved once and for all that drinking eight glasses of water a day is…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 20-somethings Ashton Knoll and Kevin Stohl were approved yesterday for a second mortgage on their fiddle leaf fig tree, which the…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local coffee aficionado Sage Davis claimed today that he finally perfected his method for brewing the perfect cup of coffee, and all…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Cool landlord and champion of the working man Jenny Holmes is allegedly only asking for references, proof of employment, and a…
LAKEWOOD, Calif. — Aging punk Lilo Omed claimed today that the best way to keep his penis erect is not by consuming over-the-counter pills, but…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Promising guitarist Liam Doughtery’s guitar career was suddenly terminated yesterday after the introduction of the difficult F major barre chord during…
VOORHEES, N.J. — Local grandmother and World War 2 hero Dorothy Schuler was asked yesterday by her grandson Darin Roche to apply her code breaking…
Help! I’ve been playing Dark Souls nonstop for the past three weeks and I’m completely stuck. Does anyone know how to get past the part…
CHICAGO, IL– Following a night of heavy drinking, serial frontman Brody Brooks left his longtime partner feeling angry and insecure after screaming the name of…