Jason VanSlycke
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Bro, you know that guy I work with? The one who is always taking off his clothes and smearing his…
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Bex Kane
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NEW HAVEN, Conn. — The American Association of Grandmothers laid out plans for a thorough investigation into precisely when their…
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Dave McNamara
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HARTFORD, Conn. – Local father of two, and reformed punk maniac, Victor Amoratti remains completely oblivious to the fact that…
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Ted Pillow
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Congrats to the Southport High School graduating class of 2005! Remember how you all wrote “Never change!” in the yearbook…
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PEORIA, Ill. — Local 36-year-old Victoria Wilkins once again refused to admit to her parents that she completely regrets the…
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James Knapp
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local 20-somethings Ashton Knoll and Kevin Stohl were approved yesterday for a second mortgage on their fiddle…
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Patrick Coyne
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POWAY, Calif. — Middle-aged man Jamie Lopez suddenly realized yesterday that he may be finally maturing after putting back a…
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Bobby Korec
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Not long ago I was an immature fool who claimed personal responsibility for every little thing that went wrong in…
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Lauren Lavín
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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Old-school punk and the woman you call “Grandma,” Ophelia “Snotcock” Dillon, noticed you no longer come by…
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Mark Roebuck
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Recent college graduate Todd Tyler reflected yesterday on the follies of his youth, appreciating his maturity now…
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