Prepare to have your faith in humanity restored! When neighbors found out that 87-year-old Sacramento resident Robert Manzana needed help to pay for his insulin,…
WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in expensive preventative care by simply…
LOS ANGELES — Local therapist Dr. Dana Therenspoon gave their patient exactly one month to live during a routine check-in, after months of increasingly lame…
MILWAUKEE — An emerging COVID variant is reportedly optimistic about municipalities dropping their mask mandates across the county and excited to get out of the…
Once again, Disney has taken tragedy and turned it into something we can upvote on Reddit. When superfan Brian McKenzie learned there was going to…
ROCKFORD, Ill. — Retail clerk Emma Stephenson finally began to feel a sense of normalcy as an unreasonably irate customer screamed directly in her face…
BOSTON — A report from the Berklee College of Music showed that half of the attendees at a recent Placebo show only thought they were…
LOS ANGELES — Recently vaccinated man Albert Kalomatsos posted his out-of-focus vaccine selfie weeks too late for it to even have a symbolic meaning, way…
SEATTLE — A coalition of ‘90s doctors announced this morning that fully vaccinated individuals are safe to peruse each other’s overstuffed CD binders in a…
Look at Mr. WebMd, acts like such a smarty pants. But let’s get real: you’re a one-trick pony. I am a little tired? Oh, you…
BOULDER, Colo. — Unpopular yet devastating virus COVID-19 announced it will be partnering with Mass Shootings in a co-headlining killing spree that will stretch from…
ATLANTA — Warning that the spread of the new threat would only add further strain to the ongoing global health crisis, virologists at the CDC…
Californians were warned today to protect themselves by staying both inside and outside, due to the ongoing risks associated with the Covid-19 pandemic as well…
ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between the disease and erectile dysfunction…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention urged Americans today to “Shut the fuck up for one goddamn second while we’re trying to…