James Knapp
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SAN FRANCISCO — American chain seafood restaurant Red Lobster declared chapter 7 bankruptcy this week after a recent crossover promotion…
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Ian Yamamoto
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ASTORIA, Ore. — Beginner survivalist Ethan Foster quickly forgot which of the two bodily wastes was sterile, piss or shit,…
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Ted Pillow
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I’m far from perfect. I fuck up, make mistakes. And I’m not always easy to be around. But if you…
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Well, it would appear that we underestimated the lyric-writing ability of Aerosmith by just a tad. It all started with…
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Michael Luis
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VANCOUVER — Nu-metal fan and dedicated JNCO jeans wearer Chad Willis was the only surviving passenger of a plane crash…
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BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — A quarantined couple stuck in the same house under self-isolation since March ended their one-and-a-half year-long relationship…
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Jerrod Kingery
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HOUSTON — Local man Joseph Graciano spent the past 72 hours obsessively streaming “The Simpsons” on Disney+ looking for anything…
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Kyle Stanley
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KINGSTON, Jamaica — An ocean liner hosting the 311 Caribbean Festival Cruise struck a reef off the coast of Jamaica…
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Mark Roebuck
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TOLEDO, Ohio — Touring punk band Pull Start are eagerly anticipating the next completely disastrous occurrence to befall them during…
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Jonathan Zeller
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ORANGE COUNTY, Calif. — An increasing number of American punks are preparing for the “frightening and inevitable” doomsday scenario of…
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