No one is crushing it in quarantine. Well, except ultra-rich people who are positioned perfectly for thriving in this environment. Does that sound like you?…
Put down that well-done fillet mignon, king! Sure, it tastes good and isn’t full of foodborne pathogens, but you’re missing out on the greatest health…
As we’ve all learned first hand from our uncles at any family function, alcohol can have a devastating effect on the human mind and body.…
Increased metabolism, stronger vision, boosted immune system (um, HELLO COVID), reduced cancer risk, lowered cholesterol, and strengthened brain function—these are just six of the endless…
Members of the World Health Organization announced last Friday that the iconic Food Pyramid will be revised to include ‘feelings’ as a basic food group.…
METROPOLIS — Local superhero Superman reportedly asked his waiter at a restaurant last night if there was any kryptonite in his salmon meal. “Yeah I…
GILBERT, Ariz. — Local vegan Robbie Hughes created a lasagna using only $100 in ingredients, proving that a plant-based diet is possible for everyone no…
BALTIMORE — Local frontman Dave Kuenen of hardcore band Hammer & Nail is under scrutiny today for allegedly cheating on his long-term diet with an…
REVERE, Mass. — Misguided 43-year-old street punk Martin “Peanut” Landers announced today that he will be upping his cigarette intake to help himself lose 15…
Who the fuck do you think you are trying to tell me how to raise my child? First of all, yes, I do have every…
If you’re friends with a carnivore there’s a good chance that you’ve been accused of being preachy. You probably can’t even get together for a…
With concern over the side effects of psychiatric medication on the rise and the ability to afford said drugs on the decline, more and more…
The new year is in full swing, and like me, you’re probably feeling it. After months of shows, holiday parties, and reconnecting with your hometown…
Let’s face it, if you want punk rock legitimacy, you and your band-mates should look (and feel) as close to death as possible. If you’re…
SEATTLE — Local dog and apparent vegan Noodles reportedly remains unaware of the dietary restrictions forced upon her by her well-meaning owner, confused sources report.…