Patrick Coyne
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NEW YORK — A group of admittedly “horned-up” and “desperate” ornithologists confessed that the majority of questionable bird names were…
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Between the pandemic, rising fuel prices and some real fucking bad luck at the dog track, more and more Americans…
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Nathan Kamal
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AUSTIN, Texas — A desperate guitar pick is currently clinging to the inside body of an acoustic guitar belonging to…
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Dianne Nora
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Oh, you’re bisexual, huh? Sorry, I’m not buying it. You’re probably just in denial or saying that to get guys…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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Josh Klasco
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BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local psychedelic doo-wop band Francis and the Francy Boys are preparing to play the “only a few…
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ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced earlier this week that fully vaccinated people may safely end…
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Ramona Apthorp
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LOS ANGELES — Local trans woman Ruby Aldorff posted a picture of herself eating a hotdog on Instagram yesterday, desperate…
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Dan Kozuh
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Guitar Center manager Marcella Doyle was taken aback earlier this week when alternative rock band Everclear…
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Kevin Tit
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NEW YORK — A visibly desperate and agitated President Donald Trump loaded his IMI Desert Eagle handgun today and travelled…
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