John Danek
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LOS ANGELES – Blink-182’s virtuoso drummer, Travis Barker, shed a singular tear upon hearing that upstart pop-punk band Girlsack released…
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Gabe Porter
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RUCKERSVILLE, Va. — Local man Camden Singh had his overall worldview and philosophy shattered then reformed no less than six…
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Nadia Sadri
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BROWNSVILLE, Texas — Six-year-old Danny Crothers is reportedly continuing to discuss his future dreams with no regard to the fact…
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Taylor Roebuck
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LANSING, Mich. — 14-year-old goth Sarah Marpa suffered a series of horrendous nightmares after watching lighthearted rom-com “The Wedding Singer”…
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Heather Cook
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NEW YORK — Local depressive Naomi Roman was teetering on the brink of mental collapse Thursday morning until her suicidal…
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Bobby Korec
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Depression is brutal. Many of us try to fight it by exercising, meditating, or even going to extreme measures like…
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Dom Turek
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CHESAPEAKE, Va. — A local dog was left anxiety-ridden and unable to finish his pile of vomit yesterday after being…
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Patrick Coyne
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COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local depressed woman Jane Lively mindlessly broke the hot dog-eating world record yesterday after consuming 76 weiners…
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Noah Leavy
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OSLO, Norway — Local black metal frontman “Iscariot” allegedly saw nothing but his own shallow reflection in a Rorschach test…
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John Danek
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BOSTON — Local straight edger Alana Enders’ depression ostensibly reached a new low when she told the bartender at White…
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