DURHAM, N.C — A federal judge ruled that Durham police officer Darrell Bartlett was justified in shooting his sidearm wildly in all directions because he…
Jean-Paul Sartre once wrote “Hell is other people.” Well, it turns out that “other person” is former White Stripes frontman Jack White specifically. We sat…
Without a doubt, The Beatles are the most important rock n’ roll band to come out of Liverpool in the mid-20th century (at least in…
PHOENIX, Ariz. — Local bassist and film studies drop-out Will Levey reportedly refers to his new love interest, Allison Alonzo, as “the Nancy to my…
SAN DIEGO — Family and friends of struggling social media influencer Kevin Watkins gathered this Tuesday to try and mourn his untimely passing, only to…
Navigating the line between being a “#girlboss” and being a “regular human being who is there for the people in your life” can be difficult,…
Hey bud, sorry to interrupt your kneeling sesh or whatever this, but we kind of need this spot. Sure it’s your dad’s grave and all,…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Participation in a popular Instagram trend led you to look up the Urban Dictionary definition of your name which revealed frighteningly specific…
GRESHAM, Ore. — Local bargain hunter Terry Hodges was relieved to discover that the writhing, chaotic mass of humanity trampling him in order to procure…
We lost our star wide receiver Brandon Little in a terrible accident earlier this month, and the team was in a bad place. We had…
SEATTLE — Local amateur groupie Sarah Pepper is reportedly horrified after accidentally sleeping with the deceased body lying behind a local bar’s PA system. “I…
NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — Jenny Fitzsimmons allowed her husband Alfred to remove the enigmatic green ribbon she’s worn around her neck since the first day…
NEW YORK — Tony’s Tracksuits CEO Anthony Dante announced this morning that the tracksuit industry’s image “will never recover” from the success of Netflix’s latest…
WASHINGTON — The Biden administration revealed details of their plan to vaccinate five to 11-year-olds in the coming weeks to ensure that these children will…
TALLAHASSEE — Vocal critic of vaccine mandates Isaac Fischer took to Facebook this morning to posit that the COVID vaccine that killed Colin Powell had…