Patrick Coyne
•
SHERMER, Ill. — A heavily scripted and complex romantic gesture made by local man Chase Stratford last week reportedly swept…
Read More →
Patrick Crooks
•
UNKNOWN — Survivors of Icelandair Flight 198, which crashed somewhere deep in the Arctic tundra last week, lauded vegan survivor…
Read More →
Stephen Bell
•
TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth…
Read More →
John Danek
•
Oh yeah, I remember Skyler. God, I couldn’t stand that dude. He was always blocking me from getting into my…
Read More →
Lauren Lavín
•
SOUTHBURY, Conn. — Local urban legend The Southbury Slasher could not complete his annual killing spree last week when his…
Read More →
G. Smith
•
The Nintendo Switch has been around for a few years now, but you only have so much time in your…
Read More →
Ted Pillow
•
Stay home, everybody! Please limit this year’s Thanksgiving celebration to include only the people you live with. Larger gatherings could…
Read More →
John Dixon
•
SEATTLE — Local punk Branson Jones died from multiple stab wounds last week after falling onto the pin side of…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
CLEVELAND — Local man Ryan Kaufman salvaged the majority of his unused best man speech yesterday after adding some minor…
Read More →
Laura McCarthy
•
GHENT, N.Y. — Beloved family Golden Retriever, Pretzel, was sent to an expansive 80-acre upstate farm earlier this week where…
Read More →
