WASHINGTON — President Trump’s approval rating has failed to crack the 40% mark among the last remaining American who managed to survive the pandemic and…
LOS ANGELES — Local tattoo artist “Big” Frank Kowlaski admitted today that he was profoundly impacted by a tattoo he inked last week of a…
SEATTLE — Seattle police officers attempting to complete a routine first-aid course last week finished their training session by kneeling on the necks of bullet-ridden…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential frontrunner Joe Biden and his staffers were surprised by the results of a recent COVID-19 test that found that he…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Ofc. Travis McHone opened fire on several guests gathered at his home last night for a surprise party in his honor, leaving…
HEAVEN — God, the almighty creator of Heaven and Earth, can not find a single reason to refuse recently-deceased straight edge kid Randy Larrett’s entry…
Following the exciting conclusion of Kingdom Hearts III, gamers are eager to see what the future holds for the story of Sora, Donald, Goofy, and…
WASHINGTON — Worried about industry typecasting, representatives of local crisis actor Daniel Mauer say he is seeking a wider range of roles, hoping to finally…
DEMING, N.M. — Local insurance salesman Ben Romero was written up today for missing work for the second day in a row with no phone…
ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention issued a reminder today that no one would’ve attended a Thursday night show anyway at KTUB…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Psych-rock band Three Inch Teeth treated their drummer Mitchell Gauthier to a night on the town last night, doing all of his…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Nate Bolgren was completely unaware that the woman he attempted to flirt with yesterday on his evening commute home had…