It’s always a tragedy when a monumental artist is taken from us too soon, but in my opinion, none of these losses are more tragic…
BETHLEHEM, Pa. — Local punk Tyra Flores was spotted placing sheets of old newspaper over the corpse of her housemate Vince Russo following his untimely…
OGDEN, Utah — The recorder community grieved this week as its oldest living member, Jenny “Jelly Roll” Wilson, passed away at the seasoned age of…
ARLINGTON, Va. — Pop-punk band Soul Skaters made a brief stop during their East coast tour recently to hold a solemn vigil at the Tomb…
WESTBURY, N.Y. — Multiple despondent mourners confirmed that local punk “Fast” Eddie Gwan recently saved thousands if not more in expensive preventative care by simply…
WASHINGTON — United States Capitol building ghost, Josiah H. Hubbard, confirmed that he feels a cold chill through his very being every time Kentucky Senator…
HEAVEN — Local benevolent being, God, ended the life of former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today as a formal apology for the whole “letting…
TRØNDELAG COUNTY, Norway — News of departed Pantera guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott’s 2004 death just reached the isolated Kjårn tribe deep in the cold and…
LUDLOW, Maine — Weeks after Rush Limbaugh’s devastated fans buried him in Pet Sematary hoping to reanimate the polarizing radio personality, Limbaugh defied all odds…
DENVER — Local man Matti Mukdam was found dead in his apartment last week, one day after his 30th birthday, as a result of standing…
TACOMA, Wash. — Terminal cancer patient Brenda Goff is planning to lay as still as possible after spotting U2’s annoyingly benevolent lead singer Bono haranguing…
KYOTO, Japan — A Nintendo press release has revealed that after decades of work as video games’ most iconic mascot, Mario will soon be dead…
TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth for the first time in…
HOBOKEN, N.J. — Therapist Brandon Carr wished yesterday that his patient would stop “bringing the vibe down with all the dead dad talk” during a…
ATLANTA — Dominique Jones, more popularly known to rap fans as Lil Baby, tragically passed away in his sleep last night due to apparent Sudden…