BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a freelance reporter into infiltrating a…
CHICAGO — Noted rhythm-and-blues singer Robert Sylvester “R.” Kelly announced the impending release of an all-new hostage today, undercover police sources confirmed from inside Kelly’s…
They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have.. That may be true, but in the isolated compound you’ll be living…
Oh Jiminy Christmas, I goofed up. Fellas, this one is on me. Well, maybe it’s not really my fault. Kind of a miscommunique on your…
People are getting really into the whole new age thing lately. Everyone’s eating kale and talking to crystals. Naturally, I thought my idea to start…
I don’t understand how I got burned like this! I put everything I had into this cult so I could take everything my followers had…
You think you’re better than me don’t you? Look at you all- wearing your robes of judgement, chanting “Exile,” shielding your ‘leader’s’ eyes from the…
MENDOCINO, Calif. — Devout disciples of Jerry Garcia have begun a gradual, reluctant transition from worshipping the original Grateful Dead band leader to following his…
DALLAS — The FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team was condemned by civil liberties advocates today for their “needless use of force” in removing the many-membered music…
TEMECULA, Calif. — Indie singer-songwriter Marcy Morrison’s entire fanbase died last night in a ritualistic mass suicide, taking place during a performance of her most…
For more than half my life I’ve been deeply entrenched with The Children of Everlasting Bliss. I no longer have any sense of personal identity and…