John Danek
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NEW YORK — Local man and person exploring his kinks for the first time in his life, Jaden Brantz, reported…
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The Hard Times Staff
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GRESHAM, Ore. — Local bargain hunter Terry Hodges was relieved to discover that the writhing, chaotic mass of humanity trampling…
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Joanna McNaney Stein
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Dominick Campbell exited a port-o-potty he described as a “crime scene level disaster” and gave…
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Khadija Hassan
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NEW YORK — Local punk Than Luethke reports that the majority of his caloric intake comes from the free wine…
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James Webster
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SAN DIEGO — The “So-Cal Shimmy,” a brand new novelty party song, is enjoying a quick rise in popularity at…
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Nathan Kamal
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AUBURN HILLS, Mi. — Major US automotive company Chrysler announced that its new 2022 line of vehicles were as big…
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Bobby Korec
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PALO ALTO, Calif. — Tesla recently revealed the prototype for their new self-driving Dragula that can independently dig through ditches…
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Matt McInerney
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SAN DIEGO — Tempers flared earlier this week as drummer Ilan Rubin and frontman Tom DeLonge went for another round…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Touring steampunk band The Death Gaskets’s frustrated venue staff when their tour rider was revealed to be nothing…
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Patrick Crooks
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ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local punk Adam Schultz is beginning to regret using one of his three wishes to bring infamous…
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