Conservative Tag Archives - Page 6

Free-Thinker Doesn’t Just Slide to Left Because Song Told Him To

Kevin Burke • March 26, 2024

GLENDALE, Ariz. – Self-proclaimed “free-thinker” Rob Greenfield was spotted motionless at his cousin Jenna’s wedding on Saturday night, even refusing…

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Conservative Think Tank Spends $40 Million Trying to Frame Girl Scout Cookies as Woke

Ben Friedman • February 28, 2024

ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A bombshell study recently revealed a Conservative think tank spent $40 million trying to find a way…

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Right-Wingers Idolizing Churchill Horrified to Learn He Had Long Standing Beef With Hitler

Sean Fallon • February 10, 2024

WASHINGTON — Large factions of America’s right-wing who idolize Winston Churchill were united in horror at learning that he had…

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Supreme Court Waiting For Latest Check to Clear Before Deciding if Trump Stays on Ballot

Stephen Bell • February 8, 2024

WASHINGTON – Officials at the Supreme Court announced their decision on whether or not Donald Trump should be allowed on…

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Guy With Mullet Either Most Racist Right Winger You’ll Ever Meet or Pansexual Communist

Traye Holland • February 3, 2024

LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local man Gregory Cross had a distinct mullet that either made him seem like the most…

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Every Gang From “The Warriors” Ranked by Our Conservative Uncle’s Fear of the City

Dan Rice • February 2, 2024

Our Uncle Hewlit was never the brightest bulb in the box. He’s the sort of guy who is highly susceptible…

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Conservative Dragula Upset Nobody Wants To Dig Through Ditches Anymore

Greg Smith • January 22, 2024

LOS ANGELES — Dragula, the macabre drag racing car immortalized by musician Rob Zombie, believes today’s generation has become “soft,”…

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Tireless Chris Christie Begins Preparation for 2028 Presidential Election Dropout Announcement

Bobby Korec • January 11, 2024

MENDHAM TOWNSHIP, N.J. — The notoriously hardworking Chris Christie began preparing for his 2028 presidential election dropout announcement mere hours…

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