PITTSBURGH — Local man Samuel Burke was reportedly unsure when to name drop heavy metal band Sepultura to the tow truck operator who hauled Burke’s…
NEW YORK — Using words like “pro,” “premium,” and “racing-style,” sources have confirmed that the black 2015 Chevy Camaro with cool neon green accents parked…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Police officers on the scene of a texting and driving accident last night that claimed the life of a local teen confirmed…
CINCINNATI — Members of local indie-rock band Dragon Farm are positive their full set of amps will easily fit in a Toyota Yaris, forgoing taking…
JACKSON, Miss. — A Department of Sanitation report released early this morning stated that giant piles of garbage in passenger seats of messy cars across…
QUINCY, Mass. — A pair of teenagers crossing the parking lot of an abandoned strip mall moments ago report that there is definitely someone fucking…
POMPANO BEACH, Fla. — The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today that a Sublime sticker on the back of a local man’s 1995 Nissan…
LOS ANGELES — Tech billionaire Elon Musk and legendary U2 frontman Bono announced today that, after years of testing and research, their team finally has…
BOISE, Idaho — A car full of emo fans nearly devolved into chaos early yesterday morning as all five passengers suddenly assumed they were singing…
I was driving home from work like I normally do, past the creepy old rail yard, same as always. I looked away from the road…
DETROIT — Thousands of Juggalos are travelling in one undersized Ford Escort to descend on the National Mall in Washington to protest their F.B.I. gang…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Twin toddlers Gabriel and Mary Windham were accused this morning of abandoning their very attractive mother alone in her car, according to…