MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Hard Rock Cafe Manager Kyle Neeson offered the chance to hold the INXS guitar hanging in the women’s bathroom to departing…
SCHAUMBURG, Ill. — Self-proclaimed author of the next great American novel Frank Trotsky recently came to the terrible realization that his “rock bottom” was going…
SAN ANTONIO — Multi-instrumentalist Eli “Smudge” Goodwin threw the entire local folk-punk scene into disarray when he tried to make ends meet by pawning his…
You know what they say about casinos — the house always wins. And sure, the fat cats make a hefty profit out of swindling the…
SEATTLE — Highly sought-after emotional support golden retriever Dr. Buttons Wigglesworth was reportedly not accepting new patients due to unusually high demand for her services,…
“Nice place?” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I live in a one-bedroom basement apartment with minimal natural light, you condescending asshole. Who…
First of all, I don’t want this to come across as bragging. But for me, personally, becoming a TV owner under 30 was an investment…
NEW YORK — NYU student Joanna Ruiz was reportedly charged an additional $34 while talking with customer service to refute a $30 charge to her…
DENVER — Recently vaccinated McDonald’s line cook Lydia Dupree was relieved to be able to safely add layers of shimmering spittle to a fucker of…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local tattoo enthusiast Ben Drury admitted that the meaning behind a large tattoo of a viking skeleton throwing a fireball currently being…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Local show promoter Steve “Froggy” Fordham recently posted a photo to Instagram that showed him pocketing cash stolen from a band he…
TORONTO — A recent trip to an out-of-town Subway made you realize how much better managed it is than the Subway you normally eat at…
POCATELLO, Idaho — Local punk Tyler Christensen was purged from the punk community after it was discovered that he had been approved for a Discover…
NAMPA, Idaho — A punk house dispute over fixing a carbon monoxide detector was abruptly resolved after every single resident passed out at once, lightheaded…
STOCKHOLM — Music streaming service Spotify announced late yesterday morning that it will replace the “Discover New Music” tab with the more comforting “Play the…