GOTHENBURG, Sweden — Melodic death metal guitarist Jens Nyberg tried to use a Boss HM-2 pedal, infamous for its famous “chainsaw” guitar tone, to chop…
ATLANTA — Quasi-political punk Aaron Scovell convinced himself yesterday that, if he had a job and was registered, his theoretical “douchenozzle boss” wouldn’t let him…
REALM OF DISDAIN — Shortly before losing a recent battle with an adventurer, local mid-level demon Ulgruuf the Unyielding reportedly got a bit carried away…
WASHINGTON — Luxury fashion designer Hugo Boss AG has been selected to create a bold, new uniform for Immigration and Customs Enforcement [ICE], the federal…
LORDRAN — The Capra Demon, a challenging boss of the early Lower Undead Burg area in Dark Souls, has been seen picking up extra shifts…
DEMING, N.M. — Local insurance salesman Ben Romero was written up today for missing work for the second day in a row with no phone…
RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons to take on a boss…
THE CITY — A hired goon taking cover behind a crate made a fatal error and left his ankle exposed, leading to nine gun shots…
CHICAGO — Local executive Reginald Dixon sent a company-wide email from the security of his HEPA-filtered panic room moments ago stating that the Coronavirus threat…
WASHINGTON — Departing employee Bridget Hogan’s profanity laced email instructing her former bosses to go fuck themselves was downgraded to a polite thanking of her…
SALINAS, Calif. — Local punk Jack Hunter was upset yesterday in learning that he was being named Platt Electric Supply’s “Employee of the Month,” despite…
FIRE TEMPLE, Hyrule — Becoming flustered after quickly realizing his mistake, the subterranean lava dragon Volvagia was in total disbelief that he had managed to…
MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the average final boss earns thirty-five…
WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests he completed before their epic…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Lakewood Insurance employee Derrick Glover reportedly called his boss this morning to ask (since he can really do everything he does in…