PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a DIY venue, according to sources…
CHICAGO — Local man Keith McKenna purchased alcohol for a group of teens last Friday on the condition that they buy him a Hot Topic-exclusive…
All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit your pants at your girlfriend’s…
LOS ANGELES — Bartender Parker McClaine of the trendy Tales of the Garden cocktail lounge is blatantly and equally inattentive to customers of all races,…
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — New reports reveal disturbing details about the non-severity of local sober punk Kevin Tartare’s past relationship with alcohol, causing much disillusion with…
BOSTON — Straight edge scene veteran Jesse Hunter miraculously transformed a simple glass of water into an opportunity for ruthless mocking at a party Saturday…
PHILADELPHIA — Dapper punk Theo Mahan’s preference for high-class mixed drinks has inspired a sophisticated smuggling operation for crafting in-show cocktails, according to sources inside…
RICHMOND, Va. — Following a failed attempt to kickstart a career in sandwich artistry, local man Mike Barkley officially enrolled in bartending school earlier today,…
DETROIT — A topless Iggy Pop asked a group of teenagers early last night to enter a local convenience store and attempt to purchase a…
PORTLAND, OR – Local man Doug Jenkins celebrated a major personal milestone last night, marking two straight years since he first started lying to his…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. – A local house party reportedly turned sour last night, as local man Seth Needham spent the entire night drunkenly slurring apologies for…
CHICAGO – Local Oi! band Hard BOi!led’s breakout album is making waves in the underground music world for its daring examination of violence and alcoholism.…