Tim Sheard
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RICHMOND, Va. – The nation’s coworkers reportedly resolved to hold an extended conversation in the general area outside the employee…
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Jus Kaplan
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NOBLESVILLE, Ind. — Local metalhead Lonny Godwin, a man who was conceived in the handicapped stall in the bathroom of…
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Zachary Wolf
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PUEBLO, Colo. – Local downer Henry Bergen recently stopped going through the motions of pretending to wash his hands after…
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Eli Johnson
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MOLINE, Ill. — Local Dream Theater fan Beth Hillebrand enjoyed unfettered access to the venue’s female washroom thanks to being…
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Eli Johnson
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local moron Griff Bradshaw made frequent frustrated attempts to gain entry to the venue bathroom you were,…
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James Webster
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NEW YORK — Local punks using the bathroom of a supposed dive bar felt betrayed when they realized they could…
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Chester Stillwater
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WHEELING, W. VA — Aging punk roommate Dennis “Onion” Wilkins ritualistically bequeathed the key that allows them to steal toilet…
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Chris Bowen
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LOS ANGELES — Concert-goers at the legendary Smoking Barrel recently learned that the club has never had to refill the…
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Dan Rice
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Salutations and tip of my cap, officers of the Sunnybay Police Department. You don’t know me, not yet, but you…
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James Knapp
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HARRISBURG, Penn. — Local human disaster Jason Melvin recently managed to pull a complete 180 in every aspect of his…
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