John Danek
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January 2, 2021
FREDERICK, Md. — Longtime punk band Booger Eater realized yesterday that it’s been over 10 months since they occupied a…
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John Danek
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December 29, 2020
NEW YORK — Progressive post-hardcore band Ganymede’s Gates reportedly realized moments ago that the entirety of their fanbase are “uncool…
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Clara Endres
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December 22, 2020
PHILADELPHIA — Highly influential emo band Crowquill reportedly split today after producing just 30 minutes of recorded music and playing…
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Kevin Tit
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December 12, 2020
WAILUKU, Hawaii — Popular Maui wedding band Holy Matrimony couldn’t believe how many people flew out to Patricia and Peter…
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Jake Menez
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December 11, 2020
LOS ANGELES — Popular musical act Alvin and the Chipmunks are seeking a new frontman this week following the death…
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John Danek
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December 10, 2020
SAYREVILLE, N.J. — New Jersey punk band PornDotCom has been struggling to tow the line between defying expectations of the…
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Ryan Danley
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December 7, 2020
DENVER — Local 39-year-old Justin Shaffer is struggling to describe his favorite band without using the often-maligned word “emo” to…
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Henrik Persson
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December 2, 2020
AMSTERDAM — Belgian metalhead Joost Lambert spent nearly four hours in the Museum of Torture yesterday looking up every item…
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John Danek
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November 28, 2020
BALTIMORE — Influential powerviolence band ElevenTimesElevenCrimes announced today that expensive car repairs, alimony payments, and a misguided Playstation 4 purchase…
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John Dixon
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November 18, 2020
MILWAUKEE — Local man Jeremy Grimm’s sudden infatuation with a newly discovered band was put on hold today pending the…
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