SEATTLE — A “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Party” group chat has allegedly devolved months after Halloween into an increasingly incomprehensible conversation full of inside jokes,…
Shut up, shut up, shut up! I love this part! Yeah, that bit right there. Dew, deeeeeew, dew da da da dooooo. Oh and then…
BOSTON — Time traveler and anti-robot resistance leader Trent Mendez, sent from the future to warn humanity about an impending artificial intelligence uprising, was dismissed…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local trans woman Emma Nelson was forced to cross the street last night to avoid an ambush from “well-wishing allies,” whose constant…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local man Garrett Doyle has somehow managed to build a real-life personality even more insufferable than the one he portrays online, according…
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. — Up-and-coming hardcore band Fistface are unsure what to do with a guest vocalist who has grossly overstayed his invite to their studio,…
PITTSBURGH, Penn. — According to witnesses at last night’s weekly metal showcase at The Clink, one man would not “shut his stupid goddamn mouth for…