ELGIN, Ill. — Local graphic designer Oliver Boone sat in his parked car for approximately 10 hours yesterday, catching up on the podcasts he usually…
Meal kits are the fun, easy way to bring your loved ones a fresh new meal each night of the week, without all the pesky…
CHICAGO — Levi Tanaka, bassist and lead vocalist of technical death metal band Rodeus, issued an apology today via Facebook Live for “Decimate the Weak…
SCOTTISH HIGHLANDS — Professors at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft admit they’re struggling with teaching students remotely via Zoom several months into a devastating outbreak of…
WASHINGTON — The new viral bombshell “Plandemic” has revealed a simple, shocking truth: that all of your friends are dribbling, incognizant fucking morons who are…
It is a time of uncertainty in the world. Between a global pandemic, unemployment, and scarce resources, no one knows anything for sure anymore. Well,…
ST. LOUIS — Local punk band Dead Houseplants will play Locust Street’s Fubar in exchange for free exposure to COVID-19 yesterday after Missouri leadership gave…
Opinion: Stop Calling Me a Hypochondriac, You Have No Idea What It’s Like to Live With Every Illness
Opinion: Stop Calling Me a Hypochondriac, You Have No Idea What It’s Like to Live With Every Illness
I’m so sick of everyone calling me a hypochondriac. It puts excess strain on my life and makes me doubt myself, which is not something…
SEATTLE — A new model from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington shows that the patience of local woman…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Margery Watson’s annual Mother’s Day breakfast-in-bed was obstructed by her unsightly ventilator due to complications from an advanced case of COVID-19, depressed…
SPANISH FORT, Ala. — Millennial Thomas Cervantes proudly stated today that he’s old enough to remember when MTV still played “Room Raiders” and other reality…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local Klan member and conservative activist David Mount has changed his views on wearing masks in public following recent stay-at-home orders…
Somewhere along the way, my Facebook newsfeed changed from being a fun place to ogle bikini pics from girls I knew in high school, to…
DULUTH, Minn. — Local couple Alice Parker and Shaun McCoy announced the reunification of their relationship today, after having already broken up and reconciled twice…
NEW YORK — NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using the league’s ongoing suspension due to COVID-19 to finally add “no dogs” to the official rulebook,…