Once in a while, we as a society recognize a bass player for their musicianship. But they often get completely overlooked for their performance on…
DANVERS, Mass. — An especially deep stage dive by local Garry Beverling established contact with long-fabled unsettling bioluminescent punks who thrive down there, sources confirmed…
Colorado has a reputation for having a population of active, happy people doing active, happy things in their beautiful state. It’s also known for hippies.…
PRESCOTT, Ariz. — Local metal enthusiast Griff Nilsson asked his doctor to adjust the persistent ringing in his ears to a pitch that was more…
I’m a sales rep for a storage solutions company which isn’t too bad as far as jobs go, I’m just on the road a lot.…
If you’re alive reading this then congratulations! You’ve made it all the way to the dawn of the end times. One of the very, very…
CAPE MAY, N.J. — Local Punk Steve Tillman’s nerves were quickly put to ease recently after realizing the trumpets he heard blaring were merely angels…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local post-punk revival band Shadow Impaction played to a record 128 mostly unwilling patrons at Frankie’s Den following a local tornado warning…
I’m the first to admit my band’s set last night was bad. Guitar solos were flubbed, vocals were way off key and the only pocket…
A lot has been said about Ohio. Most of it is disparaging and unflattering. If you are to believe all the memes you’ve read about…
In the years prior to 1983 (give or take), many fans of hard rock and heavy metal were trapped with the ultimate crisis: the need…
BOISE, Idaho — Up-and-coming band Settler’s Pit are desperately trying to sell their kidneys to pay for gas just one week into their first full…
I’m in a bit of a pickle here. Ever since I picked up guitar at 13 and subscribed to Guitar World magazine, I’ve obsessed over…
Nickelback Firmly Insists No AI Helped Write New Concept Album About Quantum Physics and Geopolitics
Nickelback Firmly Insists No AI Helped Write New Concept Album About Quantum Physics and Geopolitics
HANNA, Alberta — Rock band Nickelback reportedly dismissed swirling rumors that their new album “Geopolitical Quantum: An Analysis of Cosmic Diplomacy” was generated by AI…
NEW YORK — The annual “Punk Humanitarian of the Year” award was given to local drunk Rick Johnson who selflessly gave away over 35 loose…