Can a person simply pull themselves up by their bootstraps or is American exceptionalism a lie? We decided to test this on some of the…
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Hallmark Channel’s newest movie reportedly features a groundbreaking sex scene depicting 20 seconds of dry humping between the romantic leads which…
Book banning has always raised my hackles. Ayn Rand is a literary genius so when some hippie mom whose kid went to the same school…
ATLANTA — A team of male researchers reportedly discovered the cure for COVID-19 yesterday, mere seconds after a correlation between the disease and erectile dysfunction…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The adoption form for an elderly dog with gangrene at Pups in Paradise Animal Shelter required everyone in the rescuer’s household to…
SEATTLE — Microsoft officials revealed the global internet outage affecting airlines and critical infrastructure systems around the world was caused when the computer programs running…
LOS ANGELES — The Foo Fighters’ indefinite hiatus following Dave Grohl’s infidelity scandal is upending the world of the few child musicians who have not…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Local 43-year-old man Reggie Ferns believed it was harder to make friends in his 40s despite not having much luck in every…
WASHINGTON – Local punk Rene Johnson was absolutely gobsmacked and quite offended after he got a Slack notification from his boss this afternoon, sources currently…
If there is one thing people really care about, it is a high-quality, flavorful lunch that won’t hit your wallet too hard. And if there…
I’m so tired of these supposed healthcare professionals thinking that they’re qualified to judge me just because of their fancy “degrees” and industry-recognized “expertise.” How…
Like millions of Americans, you have probably been enthralled with the recent wave of fairly weird-looking celebrities being labeled as ‘Hot Rodent Men.’ Look, I…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Officials at Churchill Downs announced that, for the first time ever, jockeys participating in this year’s Kentucky Derby will be shot on…
Dear Scabby: What’s the best way to DIY myself a stick n poke tattoo on my face? Always wanted one, and i might as well…
Dear Scabby: What does BDSM stand for? -WTF Dear WTF: BDSM refers to “blowing dildos sex machine,” or maybe “boner dive… something, something,” but can…
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