A fifty-two percent tax. I can’t get that figure out of my head. Fifty-two percent. That’s almost half my income. You see, I still believe…
Your Honor, take a look at this jury. When I arrived here for my trial, I was told the jury would be a selection of…
It’s hard not to feel like we are approaching the end times. With the world on the verge of a global pandemic, life seems more…
If I’m not given the option to watch my favorite episodes of “The Simpsons” in their original 4:3 aspect ratio, people will die. I’ve planted…
Ever since I saw that documentary “Predator” I knew I wanted to be a super elite army guy. I train every day so I will…
Homeless people won’t be getting any pocket change from me. I’m not gonna give these people my hard-earned money just so they can spend it…
I am not a racist. I’m friends with all sorts of different colors of people. Black, white, brown, beige, khaki. Hell, I even love that…
Sorry to burst your fragile little bubbles but there are only two genders. You’re either a man or a woman. No non-binary, gender-fluid nonsense. Cased…
Get the hell out of my way! I just got here an hour late and I’m shitfaced but it’s my God-given right to be directly…
As a voter and a sexual being, I’ve never felt more conflicted. I don’t know who I want to represent me in the upcoming election.…
The ’80s was a time when a man could dream and that dream could come into fruition and nobody would judge him. No song epitomized…
Mark my words. If Donald Trump loses the 2020 presidential election I am moving to the only other place that comes to mind when I…
I am not the enemy. I think the system fucking stinks! Yeah, I said it. On Twitter AND Instagram. You should see how many rose…
So it said on your profile that you enjoy rock climbing. Well, I have a paralyzing fear of heights but I’d totally go and watch…
We can all agree that ska is the worst, right? I mean it’s just kinda silly. All the off-beat guitar, trumpets and trombones, absurd lyrics,…