MINNEAPOLIS – Almost 20 full years after calling it quits, local hardcore punk band Disofficer has reissued their self-described “cult classic” debut EP, The Pigs Won’t Have…
CRANBROOK, Ohio – Local parents Molly and Chip Hartsock have been preparing for what is bound to be another awful Thanksgiving, as their vegan punk son returns…
DIXIE, Ga. – After a long, hard battle with their host’s shower, touring band The Hammer and Nail have reportedly broken the shower’s handle and…
DIXIE, Ga. – After several hours of futile attempts, not a single member of hardcore band The Hammer and Nail has figured out how to operate the tub-shower unit in their host’s…
NEW YORK – After months of planning and preparation, 23-year-old Brooklyn resident Jared Müller is leaving behind the only world he has known, boarding a hand-stained seacraft —…
WILKES-BARRE, Penn. — Local tattoo enthusiast Josh Stuart is covered in tattoos which act as constant reminders of his adventures, and the many rare and endangered…
CHICAGO – Local record shop Sandpounder Records announced a controversial new policy today, declaring they would no longer accept Fugees in the store. “We simply cannot…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The West Oakland punk community gathered this past weekend to hold a vegan bake sale fundraiser as part of a series of continuing efforts…
LOS ANGELES – Following a casual discussion on race relations, heterosexual white male Adam Bernard confidently told a group of gathered friends, “I don’t know, I guess…
PHILADELPHIA – The search for a lost Philadelphia man came to a joyous conclusion today after he navigated himself to safety with help from his nautical…
SARASOTA, Fla. – Sources confirmed show-goer Ethan Clark abandoned his panicked attempts to fix a lamp he broke during a house show hosted by local…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Local man Aaron Forks spent the greater part of his day staring into his phone, attempting to post photos of an afternoon hike to…
NEW YORK — 36-year-old self-proclaimed hardcore kid Kamal Ahmed was tried as an adult in New York Superior Court early this morning, court officials confirmed. “As…
SAN JOSE, Calif. – A new driving app voiced by Henry Rollins is quickly becoming the go-to navigation choice for punk and hardcore kids on…
Man Who Thought of It First Could Also Reportedly Do It Better
BROOKLYN, NY — Standing in the back of the room with his arms crossed, local man Adam Franklin announced to everyone within earshot that not…