Culture Archives - Page 363

plans, friends, get together, college, 9 years

Plans To Definitely Get Together Soon Now In Ninth Year

Patrick Crooks • September 27, 2020

ATLANTA — College friends Aisha Brooks and Jason Haley promised to get together soon yet again today, just as they…

disease, illness, sick, song, title, brutal, badass, metal, metal singer

Metal Singer Just Diagnosed with Obscure Terminal Disease Thinks That Would Be a Pretty Sick Song Title

Michael Luis • September 27, 2020

CLEVELAND — Engorged Pustule singer Alec Matthewson, recently diagnosed with a debilitating, deadly illness known as spinocerebellar ataxia, realized today…

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spider, huge, arachnid, scary, bug, drums, kit

Report: Drum Kit Belongs to That Huge Spider Now

Kyle Stanley • September 27, 2020

MANKATO, Minn. — Speedwolf drummer Levi Daniels abandoned his Tama Swingstar kit and assorted hardware yesterday to a “pants-shittingly” large…

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podcast, audio, inaudible, loud, mixing, listen

Podcast’s First Episode Oscillates Between Being Inaudible, Blowing Ears Out

John Danek • September 26, 2020

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A new podcast by an Indiana University-Bloomington sophomore created to discuss emerging math rock bands abruptly switches…

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john oliver, talk show, host, crazy, mental, time, quarantine, endless, numb, scary

“A Week Tonight” Replaces “Last Week Tonight” as Quarantined John Oliver Loses Grip on Time

Daniel Menegaz • September 26, 2020

NEW YORK — HBO replaced its popular late night talk-show “Last Week Tonight” with “A Week Tonight” following a deterioration…

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pink, girl, gender, middle east, dry, hot, bomb, kill, violent, injustice, bad

U.S. Military Considers Dropping Gender Reveal Bombs in Middle East

Jay Shingle • September 26, 2020

WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal…

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Guy You Ordered Record From Four Years Ago Blaming USPS Slowdown for Late Shipment

The Hard Times Staff • September 26, 2020

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local distro owner Andy Klein assured you today that the Pelican “Australasia” record on limited edition orange…

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Police Officer Shoots Toddler Who Got His Nose

Mark Bouchard • September 25, 2020

CHICAGO — Chicago Police Sgt. Connor Ring is on paid administrative leave after he shot a toddler in the face…

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Drummer Insists on Holding Entire Kit for Band Photo

Tom Peters • September 25, 2020

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Drummer Aaron Kelmer delayed the photo shoot for his band Baskerville today by insisting on posing alongside…

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stick-and-poke, tattoo, health insurance, risk, dirty, infection, gross, sick

Punk with Health Insurance Really Overdoing It on the Stick-and-Pokes Lately

James Knapp • September 24, 2020

ATHENS, Ga. — Punk and new health insurance policy holder Nolan Nowickski is reportedly “going a bit overboard” with the…

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