Alex Salcido
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Government oppression has tightened its grip on our nation. The signs pointing to fascism’s rise have never loomed greater. The…
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The Hard Times Staff
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WASHINGTON — Scientists at the Gibson Institute of Environmental Studies issued a stunning new report yesterday, claiming the devastating effects…
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Luke Woodward
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RICHMOND, Va. — Small-time weed dealer Joel Dilts confirmed today that he knew the crisp $50 bill he received yesterday…
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Patrick Coyne
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In the event that there are any marine biologists, firearm experts, or, I dunno, active coast guard members reading this,…
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Teri Donahugh
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HILO, Hawaii — Active volcano Mauna Loa retracted it’s strict “virgins only” policy last week and is now open to…
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Issa Diao
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TACOMA, Wash. — The funeral for moderately popular local musician Adam Klein was rather well-attended despite being held on a…
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Genevieve Daanjur
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ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local folk-punk band Monte and the Paupers surprised themselves last week, accidentally booking a gig that would…
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Krissy Howard
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FLATWOODS, Ky. — Local woman and sloppy-wasted friend Kara Stanley offered a play-by-play account moments ago of the “absolute ass-kicking”…
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Gary Doyle
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GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Local concertgoer Sam Byrne watched the entirety of Knife Rat’s set last night through the gauged…
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Matt Wassung
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HOUSTON — Houston Roughnecks quarterback P.J. Walker turned heel earlier today by hitting several teammates with a steel chair and…
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