Culture Archives - Page 417

James Knapp • March 23, 2020

AKRON, Ohio — Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden announced a new initiative today during a campaign stop at a tire…

Dom Turek • March 23, 2020

YUBA CITY, Calif. — A reported breach in self-quarantine last week has left four dead and another two hospitalized after…

Louie Aronowitz • March 22, 2020

SAN FRANCISCO — Email marketing specialist Seth Samael, widely considered one of the most diabolical internet admins, was seen twirling…

Mark Bouchard • March 22, 2020

CHICAGO — Local punk Allen Prestigiacomo is now unemployed from home, thanks to Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker’s decree forcing bars…

Louie Aronowitz • March 22, 2020

I’ve always wanted to travel but it’s so expensive. Airfare, lodging, food; it all adds up very quickly. Anytime I…

Charles Bill • March 22, 2020

DETROIT — The operators of popular pornography site PornGash were confused and panicked last night when an actual local, horny…

Dan Kozuh • March 22, 2020

It's 2020 and the labels that were once put upon people suffering from mental illness have fallen away. It's finally…

Shea Strauss • March 22, 2020

ATLANTA —The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is urging people to give a “free pass” for intercourse between roommates…

Jon Wood • March 21, 2020

SEATTLE — Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced today he is committing $10 billion of his vast personal fortune to completely…

The Hard Times Staff • March 21, 2020

WASHINGTON — President Trump held a press conference this morning to drink a full cup of COVID-19, hoping the gesture…

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