Michael Luis
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March 16, 2020
LOS ANGELES — Rapper Chet Hanks, son of Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, tested positive for "full-body dopeness" this morning…
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Collin Canning
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March 16, 2020
NEW YORK — Newly single and perfectly healthy man Dave Prost edited his Tinder bio yesterday, replacing his height with…
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Dan Kozuh
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March 16, 2020
CHICAGO — Local executive Reginald Dixon sent a company-wide email from the security of his HEPA-filtered panic room moments ago…
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Dan Kozuh
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March 16, 2020
ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a statement earlier today warning citizens to abstain from creating…
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Peter Woods
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March 15, 2020
WASHINGTON — Democratic Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders accidentally told former Vice President Joe Biden “nice set” after tonight’s democratic debate,…
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Kevin Tit
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March 15, 2020
WASHINGTON — Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe. Biden allegedly checked in with former President Barack Obama ahead of an upcoming debate…
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Patrick Coyne
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March 15, 2020
TACOMA, Wash. — Bassist Todd Francona, recently accused of sexual misconduct by several women, was just happy that his name…
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Your Honor, take a look at this jury. When I arrived here for my trial, I was told the jury…
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John Danek
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March 15, 2020
ATLANTA — Local emotional support dog and shivering, terrified Spitz-mix Bartholomew was forced yesterday to fly on a 5-hour commercial…
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Luke Woodward
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March 15, 2020
BARLOW, Ky. — Local woman Roxana Carozza is entering her 20th hour of the dreaded “Midwestern goodbye” this morning, still…
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